Yo. I've decided to alternate between sonnets and short-line poems; I'm doing quatrains
(four line ) for now, and maybe a couplet here and there. There's always been a strange law of inverses at work when it comes to writing; the shorter and more restricted the medium, the harder it is to make something that sounds halfway coherent, let alone pleasing. And, true to form, quatrains can be a pain since every word and punctuation needs to contribute to the total effect. I'll probably post a couplet and/or sonnet later this week, but for now, enjoy this little tid bit:
Candle Dance
But wonder! Does a burning flame
Know that its dance is one of pain?
But dance! You wrest from sunset's keep
Your joy in pain - sans silent sleep.
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This was actually the last four lines of a longer poem, of which this - it shames me to say - was the absolute best part. Let me know what you think!
.......I'm by no means a poet so I'm not exactly sure what to speak about first but I'll just start talking and hopefully somewhere in there is a good critic.
ReplyDeleteSo we all know how a fire burning on the wick of a candle flickers(snickers ^_^) but it's interesting that you described it as a dance of pain. Now whether you're referring to the flame trying desperately to seek out oxygen to keep itself alive or the pain the flame will inflict on bare skin, I'm not sure -_-'. The flame lives on even after the natural source of light(sun)has long since faded, still flickering madly on through the nite. I like the last 2 lines the most because of the clever way you brought home the poem with the witty word play while still managing to rhyme.
Interesting - I like your interpretation of the flame's "dance" as inflicting pain as it dances - thanks!
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